Books books books

I've been on a bit of an Amazon binge lately. For some reason I was overcome bythe urge to not only read lots of new books, but also own them and keep them on bookshelves for future reference, and thankfully also discovered that you can get some damn good deals from Amazon sellers (dont really understand how that works-books in brand new condition that retail for over a tenner in store sold for under a pound?? Well, I'm not complaining.

Predictably enough, almost everything I've read has been related to parenting. I've attempted to read other things in preparation for my very daunting very soon return to university, but it's the parenting books that hold my attention and don't let me put them down. Funnily enough, although I read voraciously on everything concerning pregnancy and birth, I neglected to read much concerning what comes next. This was partly deliberate, actually, as I did and still do baulk at the idea of raising children 'by the book', but I have now found that books about child rearing can be fascinating and not merely prescriptive. Our only 'manual' is Sears' Baby Book, which was very useful in the first few weeks when I got the 'don't know what I'm doing' panics, and now generally only comes out when I get paranoid about something medical (err, like the time we noticed that she had a throbbing soft spot in the middle of her head and started panicking......hehe. Still freaks me out, mind). But now we're pretty sure of what we're doing day to day I've started to want to read more and more, particularly about ideas that I've seen mentioned extensively in online communities, but originally dismissed as a bit out there.

Attachment Parenting by Katie Granju was a quick read that really just backed up most of what we've been doing instinctively. Although I appreciated the extensive research that was cited in it, I did think that it was perhaps a little dogmatic and even unkind, especially when it came to formula use (although the facts and scientific evidence about problems with formula must be put out there for all to consider, I think it can and should be done in a kinder way). I did enjoy the book, but I think if I hadn't already been doing most of what it suggests, I would perhaps have been put off the whole concept. Although I've just read the Amazon reviews, and maybe I'm way off the mark with that... Hmmm, anyway, the general concept is very good, and I do love a book with nice clear citation that points a reader to numerous other sources to back up a point. Wow, the academic in me is still alive after all!

Jean Liedloff's The Continuum Concept was far more gripping and challenging. I'd previously heard about this book only on a fairly hardcore AP message board in the context of discussions about babies being present when you're having sex and the like, and I'd kind of resolved not to agree with it. Actually, I'd resolved not to read it, because it's so much easier not to agree with something when you haven't even read it (oh, bad bad bad me for admitting that!). But when I saw it mentioned very favourably in a much more mainstream book (Imperfectly Natural Baby and Toddler by Janey Lee Grace, my 'fluffy' purchase with lots of links to places to buy ridiculously cute organic baby clothes, aaagh!), I decided to give it a go. And it was fantastic, thought provoking and inspiring. But infuriating at the same time, mostly because of how much it made sense, but how very far away we are from achieving a society that comes anywhere near the ideals laid out in the book. It's a damning indictement not just of modern day parenting, but of society in general. Sometimes I felt she leapt to conclusions somewhat, but to be honest they were common sense, and it's a return to instinct (innate common sense, perhaps?) that she is advocating. I hope I'll manage to use what this book taught me in my own child rearing, although it is damn difficult when living in this 'non continuum' society.

Today Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn arrived, and I'm already gripped. I know that this will really challenge me, and I hope that I will find it convincing. Because although in theory I would love to be a paragon of unconditional, patient, nurturing parenting, I know that in reality I can be very quick to snap, and have a profound fear of what others think of me-something I really don't want to pass on to Cara. But that flaw also means I'm terified of raising a 'brat'. I know we've still got a way to go before discipline becomes an issue, but I want to get my head sorted on this one in advance. So lets hope this helps.

I love having new books on my bookshelf. I want more. I want all my Amazon wishlist and more. Of course, from Monday, I wont have time to read for fun. Or craft, or cook, or watch TV, or sleep..... Well, I dunno, maybe it won't be that hard, but wow I'm scared about going back to uni. Final year, same workload as all my peers but with the added responsibility of A WHOLE HUMAN BEING, whilst everyone else drinks heavily and then complains about not having done their work....Yeah, I'm worried.