Busy-ness

Oh lordy me, this blogging thing has somewhat fallen by the wayside again. Well, it was to be expected really as I don't exactly have much in the way of free time at the moment. Especially this week, and yet here I am writing a post....
Life is pretty good really, rather stressful but that's better than boring. I have a lot of uni work to do this week because (drum roll) one week tomorrow we are heading off to Australia! Hell yeah, Christmas on the beach, sunning ourselves in Sydney instead of watching the rain fall and freezing our tits off in Leeds. I am so excited. Ridiculously so. Yet also a little nervous and stressed, because a) it's taking almost 4 weeks out of my time to get work/dissertation especially done, and I probably could have done with those 4 weeks, b) oh god that means everything has to be finished before this Sunday if I want to avoid writing thousands of words with severe jetlag and sleep deprivation when we get back, c) shit, I really want to come back to a clean house for the new Year, so I'd better get that done this week as well, and d) 24 hours flying with a 6 month old. And baby jetlag. And baby acclimatisation to hot weather. And did I mention the 24 hours on a plane with a 6 month old? Plus layovers. Plus a train trip to London just to catch the flight.
So I'm a bit stressed to be honest, although the tantalising lure of sunshine in December is more than enough to get me over the stress. It will be a busy week though. I still haven't started my dissertation. Damn.
And, probably inevitably, the fact that I really need to devote all of my 'spare time' to academic pursuits these days has left me desperately craving to create, to craft, to knit and bake and (whisper) home make. And with no time to do any of those things. I have so many ideas but no chance to carry them out. I think mothering does definitely bring out creativity (well-there's a small person to make small clothes for, so of course it does), so it's frustrating not to be able to express it. Damn it, I can't win, I know that if I'd decided not to go back to uni and to fill my days with crafts and cooking and 'motherly' things I'd be chomping at the bit now and probably even more frustrated, but I just desperately want to make pretty things, and I can't.
Cara is great, but I think she's teething because she is crabbier than usual. She is fantastic though, and so worth any and all stress she causes. And to be honest, she doesn't cause that much stress. I love being a mum. I really didn't think I'd be able to say that. I knew I would love her, but to be honest the whole motherhood business was kind of scary. But I love it. I know I have been extraordinarily lucky in a lot of ways, and that has obviously helped. Cos I just never thought it would be this much fun, and come so naturally to a girl who hated dolls as a child and hadn't held a baby till a month before she got knocked up....